I can remember way back to the first time I ever heard someone tell me that.  Boy, it really made me mad!  Why should I be the first to change? Why can’t it be he or she who does the changing first?!  After all I’m the one that is hurt, disappointed, frustrated etc….

But here’s the deal.

It’s is what it is… (You’ll hear me say that often in my blog posts for a reason.)

If you want something different and you see it first, well then I guess it’s yours to change, right!?

What if it’s someone in the workplace and you are frustrated that they aren’t pulling their load?  Think about it.  Maybe it’s really just as easy as changing your attitude towards that person. What if you could see them in a different light?  I’ll bet you’d have a whole new perspective.

Think about what may be driving your resentment or judgments of this person and just how those limiting beliefs and attitudes short change you.  YOU, not the person you have them about.  Fact is, that they probably are completely oblivious of your feelings completely!

Ever realize how much energy it takes to pick up and carry an attitude?  Think about it; physically, it can be quite literally exhausting.

So what do you do about it?  How do you make the change and shift out of the limiting conversation that you are having about this individual right now?

Well, it could be as easy as looking at what is driving this particular conversation you are having.  “Ah”, you say, “what conversation?”  And I say, “That one, the one you are having right now about what I am talking about!” See, can you hear it yourself?

It seems silly but we are constantly having these internal conversations. Some of us even talk out loud to ourselves and think nothing of it.  Mutter, mutter, mutter, but in all that muttering is a conversation that you are having either about yourself or someone else.

Here’s a good one for this week.  Start to notice when you are having that internal conversation and what is coming up for you as you do.  What are the feelings, emotions or attitudes that accompany this internal conversation and how could you shift away from any negative reactions or attitudes to have a more resourceful response to what is happening?

When I work with someone on these issues, we actually go step by step to dissect the conversation so you can see what is really going on.  It always helps to have someone else look at things from the outside and give you some feedback on what they are hearing. Of course, you then have to be open as to whether or not you are able to see things more clearly and are willing to make the change.

I guess that brings us right back where we started when I began this post!  Lol!   Seriously though, these are just things to consider.

Ponder on this a while and let me know what you think.  Could this help you in a relationship you are having with a co-worker, a spouse, a relative or child or teen, anyone that crosses your path?

My commitment is to give you the tools to go out there in your daily encounters and have more satisfying and rewarding conversations and connections with others.

After all, isn’t that part of what life is about?

Aloha for now,

Coach Kathleen

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Wow, what a concept!  When I thought of this it literally blew me away!  But this is the potential of every one of us.  Each of us has the potential to envision and manifest our goals into reality.

How does that happen?  I really don’t know for sure, but I do know that if we are not open to new and different ways of thinking we tremendously limit our possibilities.  I’d like to offer some suggestions for Goal Setting and how this plays into whether we achieve success or are simply driven by circumstances that come our way.  If we allow circumstances to be the determining factor as to whether or not we succeed, then we can’t blame anyone but ourselves when things don’t work out for us.  The power of our own thoughts has a great deal to do with whether we move forward or stay where we are.

 Here are some suggestions for your own goal list.  Try them on for size and let me know what you think.  I hope that creating this list will help, encourage, excite and get you moving in a positive direction for the New Year;

• Figure out exactly what you want. Be specific.  The more specific you are the clearer you’ll become about what it is that you are going to accomplish.

• Come up with ONE BIG GOAL. That means reach for the stars! Why not, what have you got to lose?

• Each day write it down several times ( do it as many as 10 times), each time imagining how great it will FEEL to get that big account, to land that new job, to buy that new house etc.

• Go back and read the BIG GOAL OUT LOUD (this ‘locks’ it in place).

• Spend several minutes with your eyes closed imagining your BIGGEST GOAL in all its detail and glory!

• Write down one BIG action step you’ll take that day to make this happen.

• Notice the synchronistic events, or coincidences you experience during the day that seem like a sign from God, as it relates to your BIG GOAL.

• Each day, spend a couple of minutes writing down how very fortunate you are, what you are grateful for, and what you would like to attract more of into your life.

• While you are at it write a letter to whatever you call your Higher Power. (I call mine Almighty God) and go into greater detail about what you want, asking for it to be done by a certain date.

Have faith in the process. Don’t cancel out all your manifesting with negative comments or thoughts such as “Why am I doing this anyway, or it won’t happen, it never does.” If you start thinking that way, stop yourself right away and go back to focusing on the BIG GOAL, and how it will feel to achieve it. Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1. Faith in the process is 80%.  Putting that faith into action is the other 20%.  Trust your faith and then act on it.

Even if you do only ONE of these things, consistently, you’ll start noticing opportunities coming out of the woodwork, and coincidences pointing you in the right direction. Take action on these, they are divinely sent!

Aloha for now,

Coach Kathleen

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To tell you the truth I’d never been much of a goal setting kind of person–up until that conversation.  But that was a life changing moment for me.  Go figure!   I’d talked to people about what they needed to do to get their lives on track and yet I didn’t do the same.

The funny thing about setting goals is that there is a psysiological thing that happens to some of us. Either it can excite you or paralyze  you.

As we began to uncover what other people on the call were up to.  I found that some of those people also had trouble setting goals.

When she pressed us to brainstorm a little bit. I thought, “Well ,I’ll just press her back!” and so I said to her, “What are your goals?”

She laughed at the fact I wasn’t about to let her get away without sharing her goals for that year. BUT she was just as quick to be able to spit them out.—ALL of them.  Wow, I thought, she’s going to write another book and BE on Oprah!

First off, she shared the goals that she had accomplished.  Several of her earlier goals were to do media and TV.  How was that going to happen?  She got involved in the Hawaii Dream Make Over project and became the coach for that project.  Pretty darn good, I’d say.  Hence the media and TV spots.  We had done this event for the past 3 years called the Amazing Women’s Day (highlighting influential community women who have made a difference) which she single handedly started when she had moved to Hawaii. That in itself was quite an accomplishment and it was a tremendous success.

 I actually got excited and inspired as I listened to her and I began to brainstorm on my own.  For one of the first times in my life I really saw possibility and even more importantly believed that I could actually put some of these goals into play and accomplish them.

That’s why I think it’s sometimes so important to do this with a coach or others as a way of staying accountable and also for the encouragement that it can bring. That was the biggest thing just to have the excitement and passion to get beyond whatever historical conversation or belief system I had and realize I could do this and I wanted to put it into action.

Now I would like to offer you some suggestions that I picked up along the way to actually be more concrete in making this happen.

Manifesting Goals:

Focus on what you want in your life in such a way that you start attracting what you want quickly. Sound real woo woo to you? Maybe not!

Some may call it positive thinking.  But it’s way beyond just thinking positively about something.  It’s about taking Action.

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I’m not much for New Year’s resolutions and I’ll tell you why. Every year I hear pretty much the same thing.  Tell me if this rings true for you!

First off, most people will say “My New Year’s Resolution is to (as an example) lose weight.”  Okay let’s take that to the next level.  How much weight do you want to lose and what are some of the reasons to sustain this “Resolution”?   Let’s even take a moment to look at the word “Resolution” while we’re at it.

“Resolve”, “resolute”, “to declare to resolve to be different”; these are good root words and I’ll give you another one to help you to keep that resolve, (if that is what you want to do?)  Of course it is!  Right?  After all, you do it every year!!  Seriously though, how about the word “Commit”?  Now there is a strong word!  To whom do you plan to make that commitment?  You?  I mean, if you are resolving to do a certain thing in your life, making a commitment to one’s self can be weak.  Why?  Because who is going to keep you accountable to yourself?  YOU!  And we know how that goes– no guilt here — just the cold hard reality about how resolutions to one’s self tend to slip. We go from a strong resolve to eating healthy, exercising and going to the gym, to “oh, this came up and that appointment is more important and I gotta land that deal” and so on and so on.  You get the picture!

I say all this to make the point that without a commitment to someone besides just ourselves, we tend to let things slide and then another year of procrastination creeps in.   And really who wants that to happen?  This just starts another set of problems; not the least of these being the “G” word… guilt!!

Now lets look at goals and goal setting.  I’ll use weight loss as an example since that is where I started with this.  My thoughts on this is to get as specific as one can get about how things will look.  How so?  Okay, let’s break it down.

Remember at the beginning of this blog I titled it; measurable attainable goals?  Here are some of my thoughts…..

Ask yourself the following question.  What is it I want to accomplish? Start by writing down a list of words that describe a picture of what it is that you want and are willing to commit to.  Here are some words that come to mind for me.  Weight loss, fitness, health, becoming healthy, healthy balance, freedom, freedom of movement, celebration. You can add your own list from here.  These are all part of one goal – Now let’s break it down even further….

“How much weight do you want to lose?”   “What will it take to lose this amount of weight?”  Well, you are going to “get” to change your eating habits, right?You will “get” to make new and different choices.  You “get” to introduce yourself to new and different recipes and ways of cooking and preparing your food.  This doesn’t have to be a drag, you can make a game of it.  Better yet, just becoming curious about how this new lifestyle may help your over all view on life, and  may just spill over into other parts of your life, and even your family and the way you even do business! Yep, that’s possible; anything is possible!  If you create a running conversation within yourself for change as a positive experience then the  “I have to” becomes a greatly anticipated “I get to”!  Now, there are some real tools for success.

Tell me what some of your thoughts are about what I’ve written here?  Agree?  Disagree?  I can’t wait to hear from you!!!!

Now on to another area that may not be on your radar as of yet or maybe you have done this before but haven’t visited it lately.  What I am talking about is your “Mission Statement”

Aloha for now,

Coach Kathleen

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