My husband and I stood in the kitchen the other day after Thanksgiving and he was saying how he missed his dad’s Red Gravy. As we talked, I reminded him that this is now his legacy because it is one of his family’s traditions and memories. We haven’t been present at very many Thanksgivings or Christmas’s for 30 years now, because of the fact that we live in Hawaii, but that still doesn’t change the desire to be there with family. I told my husband that since it’s his family tradition we could (and should) pass it this on to our kids and grandkids. (The fact that Pop Roy’s red gravy gets its great color from cayenne pepper might have some bearing on whether they choose to continue the tradition, but that’s their choice, right?) So I asked him how were we going to go about getting this secret recipe? Someone one has to have it, right? We knew that several of the older grandkids had observed their Pop Roy over the years as he stood at the stove putting in all his magic spices and vinegar and who knows what. We knew one of the kids had pretty well mastered it and was continuing to make the red gravy for the holiday turkeys. So we decided to give him a call and see if he really did have the recipe. It will have to be up to my husband to see if he can make it. Traditionally it had been done by the guys. And it will have to be up to our boys to decide if this is a keeper or not. After all it is my husband’s memory and tradition.

What a great thing memories and traditions are! An important element of what makes them so special is what they conjure up in the mind of the one who holds the memory. The memories of relatives present, young and old, and the great times spent with these people are actually part of what makes us who we are today.

This post is going to be the first in a series of thoughts and stories that make up some of my family’s history, my husband’s and maybe even yours! What about you? Can you think of something that is a “Keeper” for passing down to the kids and to the next generation? The holidays are a time of memories, both good and maybe some not so pleasant. So, I thought I’d start out talking about something that just happened, that was so fresh and close to home. But I also love to hear from you about things that stand out in your memories when it comes to family gatherings during this time of year….

Much Aloha,

Coach Kathleen

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I guess in certain parts of the country, there is an expectation that there will be snow on Christmas morning. That doesn’t happen for me though, because I live in Hawaii. It’s nice enough if there’s a chill in the air for us here. But oftentimes people have expectations that there should be snow Christmas morning! Isn’t that what happens in the movies!? We’re hopeful it will happen. Just like somehow, some way Christmas will be different this year.

So how can it be different this year? Well how about being willing to live out the intention we set out with as the season first approached? Now that’s a novel idea!

Also, what do you think it would take to live out our lives all year long purposed to, live life fully human fully alive? (Curious to what I mean here?! Well I’ll explain as we go along here.) So let’s make that part of our journey for next year.

My purpose and intention this next year is to create value in what I write here, so that when you leave this page you’ll want to come back for more!

• That you can walk away with some actual tools that you can implement into your life right here and now.

• That your relationships will be rewarding, much more fulfilling and full of opportunities for intimacy.

• You in turn can create that with others.

How’s that sound?!

I’m looking forward to this coming year being one of anticipation and excitement, of change and growth. Will you come along on this journey with me?

Have a blessed and peaceful next few days, as we end out this year, and don’t forget to realize the gift that YOU are to those around you as well. Because without you in this world, the very special and unique you that you are, life would not be the same. There would be something missing. A BIG something! Like George in the movie classic “It’s a Wonderful Life”. Just a thought to ponder…

If you have any thoughts or feelings that you would like to share with me, I’d love to hear from you. And if for some reason this is a particularly hard time of year, let’s talk. Sometimes we just need someone to listen or relate to what is going on for us.

Author, Kathleen Reece, (CPBA, CPVA) is known as the “Relationship Coach” by couples around the world. Founder of Relationship Coach for You™ where she helps couples in groups, teleclasses and private sessions. As a professionally certified behavior analyst, she gives couples the communication tools and proven strategies they need to create close and intimate relationships.

The © Copyright to all audio, video, images, and text is held by Relationship Coach for You™ and licensed under a Creative Commons License.

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We fondly look back on the times of our childhood when life was not so complicated and there was a sense of wonder and excitement, and think when did that all change. I don’t know if you are like me, but the past and the present don’t always match up. I could write a book on my childhood experiences, but I don’t want to do that here. What I do want to do, is touch on several things, that I think might come up for people during the holidays.

I know when I was a young mom I was always racing around trying to get things done and put a great deal of self made expectations on myself to have “everything perfect.” (Or so I thought that was what I was supposed to do.)
Like I said I’ve grown older and wiser you see…

What I would like to offer here is what I think Christmas isn’t. How we could tend to make it be the cure-all for the world so to speak. The problem is that it isn’t. It doesn’t bring us instant happiness and often time’s disappointment is what we get
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Please don’t get me wrong I LOVE Christmas and all that it stands for. It’s one of my favorite times of the year. I think that what springs eternal is that we are hopeful that when Christmas comes and the cards that arrive in the mail that say Peace on Earth, we long for that to be so. Especially in this day and age when world is in such turmoil.

So we start the day after Thanksgiving (I’ve always made it my rule that I don’t go out there into those crowds, even though many of you may love doing that.) getting into the “Christmas Spirit”! There’s the buying and the wrapping, the cooking and the cleaning. Everything that goes on about Christmas is all about getting ready for that day.

Some of the things that Christmas doesn’t do is it doesn’t magically turn you into the world’s greatest parent, fulfilling your children’s every wish. Nor does it make you the Martha Stewart of the holidays, because you watch her program or read her books.

Largely and more importantly it doesn’t instantly restore and repair broken relationships or those that are on the brink of serious problems. But I also think as human beings we are just naturally hopeful for something different. We were designed that way, thank God!

We are hoping that when the family all gets together, it will be great! We look forward to it. It’ll be different this year, I’m gonna make sure of it. So we go about it with great intention, of making that happen. But alas, others aren’t always as cooperative. So there go our expectations and hopes of something different, deeper, and more meaningful.

I myself am a great believer that we have everything within us to create a different experience than the one we have had up until now. If we are to believe in what the “Christmas Miracle” is all about, the miracle of hope for the future, the future worth having with those we love and cherish. Then it would benefit us to equip ourselves with the tools for what that will take. Say better communications, for one thing, or better listening skills. It’s all a matter of taking the time, and changing our thinking about who needs to do the changing, or just appreciating the people for the gift that they are in our lives.

Share with me some of your thoughts on how you see the possibility of changing the way you could see the value of having a different way of relating with those around you this season, and how that might change and enrich how you experience your holiday’s!

Your Relationship Coach,
Kathleen Reece

Author, Kathleen Reece, (CPBA, CPVA) is known as the “Relationship Coach” by couples around the world. Founder of Relationship Coach for You™ where she helps couples in groups, teleclasses and private sessions. As a professionally certified behavior analyst, she gives couples the communication tools and proven strategies they need to create close and intimate relationships.

The © Copyright to all audio, video, images, and text is held by Relationship Coach for You™ and licensed under a Creative Commons License.

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