For each one of us it could mean a totally different thing or represent a completely different experience.

The word “Conquer” means to overcome, to gain, or to obtain by effort.

With this in mind, I want to ask you the question; what’s stopping you from conquering your current goals?

• this day
• this week
• maybe even this year

My last post talked about “Challenging” yourself a little each day.”

Did you try it?

How’d it go for you?

Did it trigger you into having any internal conversation with yourself that became resourceful?  Or did you find yourself sitting on the couch and thinking about it but not doing much about it?

I know.  I’ve found myself doing that sometimes.  Circumstances come along to distract us from our goals. I don’t know about you but that’s when I need a partner to come along side me and say!  “Hey I thought you were going to do this or that?”  What happened?”

Whether it’s weight loss, exercise or going through that pile of papers you’ve been meaning to go through but haven’t for whatever reason.

“Just Do It” like Nike says!!

Let me ask you, what was it like the first time you conquered your fear of riding a bike as a kid or learning to swim for the very first time?

(Stop a moment and go back and relive that experience.)

I hope your answer was a resounding YES!!!!!  I knew I could do this!  There is a real freedom that comes over you. I remember when I was learning to swim as a kid it felt like I could go on forever.  Remember spending hours underwater talking to your sister or brother? Doing silly stuff?  It was just so freeing.

Then I joined a swim team that was a blast!

(What does a kid in the middle of the desert do but find a pool and stay in it for as long as they can to beat the heat!  Really!)

Swimming took conquering something to a whole new level for me.  First it’s the form of the stroke, getting that down.  Then conquering the ability to get to a place where the body gets its second wind. Then you can swim effortlessly for what seems like forever.

Now the fact is that this takes some time.  It doesn’t just happen after a few laps back and forth in the pool.  YOU have to consistently push yourself through every lap and then Bam!!! BREAKTHROUGH HAPPENS and you have done it.  It’s an exhilarating feeling.  Makes me just want to jump in a pool right now!!

Think how this could work in your life.

What will it take to conquer the goals that you have?

• Do you write your goals down?
• Do you post them where you can see them daily?
• What will it take to move past the fear to go to the next level?
• What kind of commitment will it take for you?
• And lastly “How badly do you want it?!”

That’s really the question isn’t it?  How badly do I want something in my life so that I will do whatever it takes to do it?

Now let’s go back to the when you were a kid conversation.

Do you think that some of the same feelings that came over you as a child are still working in you today?

I happen to think so.  That is one of the things that is what I call your internal conversation or your historical conversation.  I’ve mentioned that before many times.  Some of those old tapes are still running around in your brain even today.

What you “GET TO” do is just notice them and discover how you can work through those haunting memories.  Yes, I said haunting and you have to decide if this is the conversation you want to be having with yourself right now or are you willing to have a different one?

I’m going to leave you with that question and you let me know what you think about what I wrote.  If it has opened up a new area in your life that you hadn’t seen before and how it affects your ability to Conquer YOUR Goals.

Love to hear about that.

Aloha for now,

Coach Kathleen

PS What you “Get to” do is think about “get to” vs have to, need to or want to.  Now that’s a whole another post.  Be watching for it. Coming to this blog soon!

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I can remember way back to the first time I ever heard someone tell me that.  Boy, it really made me mad!  Why should I be the first to change? Why can’t it be he or she who does the changing first?!  After all I’m the one that is hurt, disappointed, frustrated etc….

But here’s the deal.

It’s is what it is… (You’ll hear me say that often in my blog posts for a reason.)

If you want something different and you see it first, well then I guess it’s yours to change, right!?

What if it’s someone in the workplace and you are frustrated that they aren’t pulling their load?  Think about it.  Maybe it’s really just as easy as changing your attitude towards that person. What if you could see them in a different light?  I’ll bet you’d have a whole new perspective.

Think about what may be driving your resentment or judgments of this person and just how those limiting beliefs and attitudes short change you.  YOU, not the person you have them about.  Fact is, that they probably are completely oblivious of your feelings completely!

Ever realize how much energy it takes to pick up and carry an attitude?  Think about it; physically, it can be quite literally exhausting.

So what do you do about it?  How do you make the change and shift out of the limiting conversation that you are having about this individual right now?

Well, it could be as easy as looking at what is driving this particular conversation you are having.  “Ah”, you say, “what conversation?”  And I say, “That one, the one you are having right now about what I am talking about!” See, can you hear it yourself?

It seems silly but we are constantly having these internal conversations. Some of us even talk out loud to ourselves and think nothing of it.  Mutter, mutter, mutter, but in all that muttering is a conversation that you are having either about yourself or someone else.

Here’s a good one for this week.  Start to notice when you are having that internal conversation and what is coming up for you as you do.  What are the feelings, emotions or attitudes that accompany this internal conversation and how could you shift away from any negative reactions or attitudes to have a more resourceful response to what is happening?

When I work with someone on these issues, we actually go step by step to dissect the conversation so you can see what is really going on.  It always helps to have someone else look at things from the outside and give you some feedback on what they are hearing. Of course, you then have to be open as to whether or not you are able to see things more clearly and are willing to make the change.

I guess that brings us right back where we started when I began this post!  Lol!   Seriously though, these are just things to consider.

Ponder on this a while and let me know what you think.  Could this help you in a relationship you are having with a co-worker, a spouse, a relative or child or teen, anyone that crosses your path?

My commitment is to give you the tools to go out there in your daily encounters and have more satisfying and rewarding conversations and connections with others.

After all, isn’t that part of what life is about?

Aloha for now,

Coach Kathleen

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Okay, now that you got that off your chest, now what?

My desire is to offer you solutions, suggestions and possibilities that can help you to answer some of these questions or frustrations.

But for now let’s talk about a story I heard recently.  There was once a young man desiring to get married.  He was getting older and he really wanted to marry badly.  (Belief system kicking in here.) Then he meets this beautiful young woman and they fall in love in a very short time.  They also become pregnant and decide to get married.  Never mind that they were from 2 different cultures and could not understand each other at all; not being able to speak each other’s languages.  They were in love and that was that.

Long story short, the relationship ended in less than a year. He has the baby.  He is in debt up to his eyeballs.  His business is failing.  He moved in with relatives for the time being and basically it’s a mess.  (You get the picture)

Now he has some hard choices to make here.  Not an easy road to hoe any way you look at it.  BUT it is what it is…. Now, what?!   I might say, “Man up and deal with it cause it ain’t going away and now you are faced with having another life you are responsible for.”  (I sound like Dr. Laura here.  For those of you that don’t know her.  She is a straight shooting therapist and author who doesn’t pull any punches who has a very popular radio talk show, where people call in and ask for help and advice to their problems.  I really like her.)

Reality may be hard sometimes but we all have to deal with it.  Can anyone relate here?

Does this story sound familiar?  Unfortunately, it’s being played out all over the place.  There is hope in the mist for sure.  Let’s take this man’s story, for instance.  What will he need to do?  The “What Now?” conversation…

Get some support, have a plan of action and know where and how to move forward.  In other words, he needs to ask, seek and knock for the help he needs.  I know that not everyone has the luxury, but maybe we really do and we just don’t see it because we are so caught up in the event, the mess and the overall helpless feeling of hopelessness.

But I know there are ton’s of solutions out there…

In the movie  “The Pursuit of Happiness” Will Smith portrays Chris Gardner, a man who suddenly has a run of very bad luck and has to totally rethink everything about his life.  What happens to him can happen to any one of us these days.  But what he did with what happened to him made all the difference in the world for him and his son.  What happens in this clip from the movie is at first his conversation with his son comes from his “familiar” old conversation, his paradigm. But look what happens when he sees the impact it has on his son.

It takes courage and determination to fight against the familiar,  the old belief system that creeps back into our internal conversations.

Take courage …. Really, I mean it.   Seriously!  Read about someone who faced the impossible and overcame all odds.  Rent an inspiring movie that will do the same thing for you.  Create hope where there is none at the moment.  I could think of so many examples right now.

No matter what it is that you are up against if you look for something outside yourself to be encouraged or inspired by it can and does shift our thinking, our belief systems, our situations and/or our circumstances differently.  In doing so we can move towards a place of taking action, which is much better than just sitting there waiting for something to happen to us.

I mentioned this earlier in my last blog.  Be sure to check out my previous blog post.  I really love hearing your feedback on what I’ve been writing about lately.

Is this speaking to you, hitting home, or encouraging?  These are some of the ways I use my coaching skills when working with clients.  We can all speak from our experience of life to support someone on their journey.

Hope this was helpful today.  Don’t forget to let me know what you think.

Much Aloha,

Kathleen

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What do you think?

Are you last on your list and resenting that fact that you are?   Are others paying the price for you not taking the time for yourself?  But you say … “How can I do that when I have all these other commitments going on in my life; how else will it get done? “

Well, I say there probably are a ton of things to look at in this and if you are open to taking a look, I bet you could find some altitude enough to make some positive shifts and possibly benefit others around you as well.  Think about it.  If you are in a good place in your life don’t you think it flows over into the way you are seen by others; say, members of your family and so on?

Let’s take a look at the “what” that may be behind some of this behavior by first telling you a little bit what’s been going on for me and maybe you can relate.

About 3 ½ years ago I started taking care of my first grandchild for 2 days a week.  Now you wouldn’t think that would be any big deal, right?  Here I am, just loving being a grandma with all that entails. And I was very willing to take care of the little guy, of course!  But soon I find out that, boy, it becomes a lot of work and soon I begin to lose my focus for my coaching practice.

Why?  Because it takes tons of time to be with new babies and then they get more active and so on and so on.  (I guess maybe I forgot that small detail as I got caught up in the whole Grandma thing!)  I was trying to stay focused on getting certain things accomplished every week and yet they weren’t being done.  This was probably because I had this crazy idea that I could still work on the days that he was here and still be as productive as I was before I started taking care of him.  That was an interesting idea/theory!  Can anyone relate to this at all?

Little did I know, that would not be the case and (being the consummate multi-tasker that I am); I was also trying to launch another business as well.  So, something had to give and that something had to be me.  I kept telling myself to just surrender to the process.  Easier said than done.  Surrender was a daily process for me and still is for a lot of things in life.

Like trying to swim against the tide, we fight against what is happening and even try to change it so we can “do all things”.  We then not only frustrate ourselves but possibly even take it out on others around us because of the desire we have to see it look a certain way and when it doesn’t then….. well, you know what I mean…

And what does this have to do with “yes you can?”

Take a look at what we decide about a situation and how we don’t see any possibilities in it and where we might go because of that.  Then begin to rewrite your story to reflect another possibility and solution.  You’d be surprised at the outcome and how your attitude will shift and change.  Suddenly, this gives you more freedom to create, not just something new and different, but something transformative.  That, in itself is a whole other conversation!!

But, for now, these are just some things to think about.

I’m curious does any of this rings true for you?  Can you identify with some of what I am talking about?

If so please leave me a comment and share with me your perspectives on this subject.

I’ll be adding more about this later.  But for now, stay tuned.

Much Aloha,

Coach Kathleen

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Wow, what a concept!  When I thought of this it literally blew me away!  But this is the potential of every one of us.  Each of us has the potential to envision and manifest our goals into reality.

How does that happen?  I really don’t know for sure, but I do know that if we are not open to new and different ways of thinking we tremendously limit our possibilities.  I’d like to offer some suggestions for Goal Setting and how this plays into whether we achieve success or are simply driven by circumstances that come our way.  If we allow circumstances to be the determining factor as to whether or not we succeed, then we can’t blame anyone but ourselves when things don’t work out for us.  The power of our own thoughts has a great deal to do with whether we move forward or stay where we are.

 Here are some suggestions for your own goal list.  Try them on for size and let me know what you think.  I hope that creating this list will help, encourage, excite and get you moving in a positive direction for the New Year;

• Figure out exactly what you want. Be specific.  The more specific you are the clearer you’ll become about what it is that you are going to accomplish.

• Come up with ONE BIG GOAL. That means reach for the stars! Why not, what have you got to lose?

• Each day write it down several times ( do it as many as 10 times), each time imagining how great it will FEEL to get that big account, to land that new job, to buy that new house etc.

• Go back and read the BIG GOAL OUT LOUD (this ‘locks’ it in place).

• Spend several minutes with your eyes closed imagining your BIGGEST GOAL in all its detail and glory!

• Write down one BIG action step you’ll take that day to make this happen.

• Notice the synchronistic events, or coincidences you experience during the day that seem like a sign from God, as it relates to your BIG GOAL.

• Each day, spend a couple of minutes writing down how very fortunate you are, what you are grateful for, and what you would like to attract more of into your life.

• While you are at it write a letter to whatever you call your Higher Power. (I call mine Almighty God) and go into greater detail about what you want, asking for it to be done by a certain date.

Have faith in the process. Don’t cancel out all your manifesting with negative comments or thoughts such as “Why am I doing this anyway, or it won’t happen, it never does.” If you start thinking that way, stop yourself right away and go back to focusing on the BIG GOAL, and how it will feel to achieve it. Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1. Faith in the process is 80%.  Putting that faith into action is the other 20%.  Trust your faith and then act on it.

Even if you do only ONE of these things, consistently, you’ll start noticing opportunities coming out of the woodwork, and coincidences pointing you in the right direction. Take action on these, they are divinely sent!

Aloha for now,

Coach Kathleen

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To tell you the truth I’d never been much of a goal setting kind of person–up until that conversation.  But that was a life changing moment for me.  Go figure!   I’d talked to people about what they needed to do to get their lives on track and yet I didn’t do the same.

The funny thing about setting goals is that there is a psysiological thing that happens to some of us. Either it can excite you or paralyze  you.

As we began to uncover what other people on the call were up to.  I found that some of those people also had trouble setting goals.

When she pressed us to brainstorm a little bit. I thought, “Well ,I’ll just press her back!” and so I said to her, “What are your goals?”

She laughed at the fact I wasn’t about to let her get away without sharing her goals for that year. BUT she was just as quick to be able to spit them out.—ALL of them.  Wow, I thought, she’s going to write another book and BE on Oprah!

First off, she shared the goals that she had accomplished.  Several of her earlier goals were to do media and TV.  How was that going to happen?  She got involved in the Hawaii Dream Make Over project and became the coach for that project.  Pretty darn good, I’d say.  Hence the media and TV spots.  We had done this event for the past 3 years called the Amazing Women’s Day (highlighting influential community women who have made a difference) which she single handedly started when she had moved to Hawaii. That in itself was quite an accomplishment and it was a tremendous success.

 I actually got excited and inspired as I listened to her and I began to brainstorm on my own.  For one of the first times in my life I really saw possibility and even more importantly believed that I could actually put some of these goals into play and accomplish them.

That’s why I think it’s sometimes so important to do this with a coach or others as a way of staying accountable and also for the encouragement that it can bring. That was the biggest thing just to have the excitement and passion to get beyond whatever historical conversation or belief system I had and realize I could do this and I wanted to put it into action.

Now I would like to offer you some suggestions that I picked up along the way to actually be more concrete in making this happen.

Manifesting Goals:

Focus on what you want in your life in such a way that you start attracting what you want quickly. Sound real woo woo to you? Maybe not!

Some may call it positive thinking.  But it’s way beyond just thinking positively about something.  It’s about taking Action.

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